Metronome Nightclub – Odessa

Ok loyal reader…..or readers if some is with you…..after a few successive blogs which went kind of political….we are going back to……Tourists and Tits!!!!!!

This is for no other reason than, well, I am nowhere near through all the nightclubs in Odessa yet.  Also, this is not meant to be a political blog……just one about Odessa.

Now dear reader, I appreciate you have suffered the last few blogs……and are starting to consider looking elsewhere for your adolescent “jolly’s”……after all, Ukrainian politics are entertaining for those of us in Ukraine…..for you dear reader, they are of course, less than interesting and the subject is about as welcome as a stale fart!!!

Well……..”Stop right there!!!!!…….Before we go any further, do you love me?  Will you love me for ever?  Do you need me, will you never leave me?  Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?”………….ah here’s Meatloaf……he does it better than me……

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qJLEc3aAf4

Anyway – The Metronome nightclub can be found on Shampansky….which is in the Arcadia region of the City.

For a nightclub, the food isn’t that bad and is certainly not the most expensive to be found.  It also has two dances floors and a number of snooker Russian Billiard and Pool tables.

What?……..Oh yes, they are strippers…………..it also has strippers…….lots of strippers!!

There is not much else to say about Metronome other than it’s not bad at all…….although not in the very centre of the city……………

 

 

………….Eh?……What?…… I mention strippers but you haven’t seen the “jubblies” yet!!…….Ok, Ok………Brace yourself!!!………………..

Happy now?

Я говорю по-русски – I Speak Russian – Odessa

Blimey……..the last few posts have turned quite political and I am loathed to put up another now as I am really wanting…….and feel the need…….to write something quite juvenile and full of sexual double entrendres, as usual………BUT, has someone mistakenly tried to force speaking  Ukrainian……again…..on the people of Odessa over the last week?

I was in the office of my very nice….and very good…..lawyer last week and could not help but notice numerous stickers and flags around his office with the Odessa symbol on it and the statement “Я говорю по-русски”……….which means I speak Russian!!!

Bit non PC for an old school Jewish lawyer born and bread in Odessa…….particularly one with an excellent reputation.  He does, after all, work within the legal system of Ukraine…..and not Russia.

Well, today I had to cross the city to the steel suppliers to order a large amount of balk steel.  I must have seen close to 100 cars with the same Я говорю по-русски stickers on them and a few more flags saying the same.

Now I know there will be much of the nations TV channels here for the Humourina celebrations on April 1st…..and there is nothing better for an Odessian to tell those in Kyiv to……….

……..throughout the day on national TV, and I am sure they will not miss the opportunity…..because as they say here, Ukraine is Ukraine BUT Odessa is Odessa…….although I have not seen or heard anything on the news here to state that somebody in Kyiv, has again tried to commit political suicide, by saying Odessa must speak Ukrainian and not Russian.

Not that it will ever happen, no matter how much they try……..at least in my life time!!!

What?……..Oh, yes Я говорю по-русски as well. 

What do you expect?  Russian is not that easy to learn…..to try to learn Ukrainian at the same time would make my head explode!!!!

Tourist Visa’s Again A Possibilty – Ukraine

Well, it was bound to happen eventually.  After several years of Visa free tourist travel into Ukraine ………Ukraine is considering their reintroduction.

It is not that Ukraine has been over run by foreigners stealing jobs or buying up the best assets……far from it, to do business here, it is done their way or not at all……and it always involves a Ukrainian.  Add on to this the language difficulties, and Cyrillic alphabet and Ukraine and Russia is a place for the determined only when it comes to work or business!

So why is it then? 

The EU promised Ukraine easier travel for it’s citizens……albeit still via a Visa system, throughout the EU and put a ceiling price on the Visa’s at Euro 35.

And?

Well, to be honest, it is impossible to get a Visa if you are Ukrainian for Euro 35.  All EU countries make it as hard as possible for a Ukrainian to get the Visa.  One in four Ukrainians get refused a Visa…….for no reason at all…….and of those that do get them, only one in four gets a Visa which is valid for more than 6 months.

This obviously leads to 2 problems for the Ukrainian government who have allowed free entry for EU citizens for over 2 years.

Firstly, the treatment of their own citizens by the EU has caused and is causing some unhappiness amongst the population………with an election coming up in under 12 months.

Secondly, political egg is over political face here because of the EU saying one thing and openly doing another.

Now there will be some “westerners” reading this thinking…….well they will cut themselves off from western investment, technology and business models……it’s stupid, they need us!!  This is indeed a comment which has been aired by some I know…..although they have been mostly American…..and therefore have little comprehension of Ukrainian mentality…..or anyone elses for the most part. 

Before you think I am America bashing……one of my best friends here is an American and he states that the problem with Americans is that many do not have a passport or have indeed even left the State the were born in…..why would they ever need to leave the US when it is so big and has everything anyone could possibly want?  Here he has a good and valid point…..unless you are indeed an American basher, in which case you would consider everything US is shit….which I don’t.  What he goes on to say, is that with a people so insular…….many never leaving the US in their lives…..it is hardly surprising they don’t understand Ukraine…..or many other countries.  I have no choice but to agree with him…….as I am not an American….and he is, so therefore would know more than me!

Anyway, going back to the “western” thought that reintroduce Visa’s for EU citizens would “cut off one’s nose to spite one’s face”……..we should consider that the Ukrainian parliament does not consider the 50 million or so Euros spent in Ukraine by visitors, in the grand scheme of things, really sufficient to warrant the political heat……..particularly with the election in 2010 closing in.

We can also look at it as a bluff……..to get the EU to honour it’s promises.  Then again, those who know Brussels will know there is more chance of falling into a bucket of tits……..and coming out sucking your thumb!

So, what are the chances of you good readers once again needing a Visa to visit Ukraine?……..Well, how long can, what is in effect, a “one-way street”, remain in place with an election coming?

What?……..No, no, no….it won’t effect inwards investment or EU citizens working here as they need Visa’s and Work Permits now anyway……..it will only effect tourists………and those who live here but don’t work too I suppose.

Me?……..No. I’m alright……but thanks for asking…..remember I am married to a Ukrainian!!!!!

Anyway, I will keep you “up to speed” as to any changes which occur……if they indeed do change…..considering this has to get through the Ukrainian parliament……which is not renowned for it’s speed…….or ability!