Archive for March 5th, 2009

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Women, Marriage Agencies & Sexpats – General

March 5, 2009

Whilst this subject will be re-visited and examined in some detail over the coming period, there are some general observations to make for those who come to Russia, Ukraine and in particular Odessa looking for women, marriage or a sexual qualification event in preparation for the Sex Olympics.

Women – without doubt, after all my time in Russia and Ukraine, Odessa has a massive number of extremely attractive single ladies, for beyond anywhere else I have been.  During the summer months this number is doubled as the Slavic ladies come here for a few weeks of sun, sand and………more sun.

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The Viagra users out there considering a trip here in an attempt to snare one of these lovely creatures could very well find themselves “pole vaulting” down the main streets just by visual stimulation alone.  There is not one centimeter of soft, toned, tanned and supple skin, almost to the point of indecency, which is left covered by these ladies during the summer, even when going to the supermarket.  A voyeurs paradise almost.

For all you sexually frustrated guys who may read this blog, please do not come here and go straight to the supermarkets in July pretending to look at watermelons or peaches and allow yourself to drift off into some adolescent fantasy when watching some tall slim and barely clad lady buying banana’s or onions.  I live here and could well buy the fruits your have squeezed a little to hard when lost in your fantasy………and I don’t like bruised fruit!!

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Suffice to say, wherever you go in Odessa during the summer months there will be slim, attractive ladies everywhere.  The only difference between seeing them on the beach to seeing them in the City streets will be a few more centimeters of clothing (I kid you not).

Marriage Agencies – The only use for them would be the interpreters in my humble opinion.  However a fool and their money are soon parted, so you take your chances.

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Sexpats – Easily identifiable as they all hang out around the recognisable icons from home…….the Irish pubs and MacDonald’s during the day and certain nightclubs in the evening.   They will undoubtedly meet other English speakers at these establishments who have come to Odessa for the same reasons……intercultural exchange! 

Many sexpats make the common mistake of being unable to identify a lady of some (not necessarily many) virtue and prostitutes.  In most places in the world they are fairly easily identifiable but here, where no woman wears much clothing during the summer months, they can be indistinguishable to the Sexpat……..which can lead to some very serious consequences if you wrongly make assumptions in either direction.

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A note to the Sexpats – most Odessa women are of the Orthodox religion and therefore the vast majority, but not all, wear wedding rings on the right hand………..not the left!

If you are in any doubt, the word for prostitute in Russian (the most widely spoken language in Odessa) is………. prostitute…….there now, not too difficult to remember is it.  You can always ask if in doubt and the evening is progressing with far too much ease in the direction you want it to go.

Brothels are technically illegal in Odessa but obviously exist…………although not very well advertised.  There is also a “nudist” resort and beach not far away which has “hedonistic tendencies” I hear. 

Still, if you have been here a few weeks and have yet to get what you came for, there are escorts available if you know where to find them.  If you don’t then ask someone but expect to pay them a small fee for the information as generally, nothing here comes free.

Anyway, enough for now – as stated we will re-visit this several times no doubt during the life-cycle of this blog.

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The Mayor

March 5, 2009

Eduard Gurvits – currently mayor (and very likely to be re-elected) of Odessa.

Normally most people have little regard to the abilities, integrity, morals, commitment, servitude to the public, communication skills, interest (other than self-interest) of their politicians. 

In fact they consider them corrupt, mealy mouthed, self centred, spin doctored, hypocritical, elitist, career politico’s who’s opinion of the public is that of something to either be suffered or controlled but otherwise generally discounted……..sorry got lost in a description of the current government of the UK for a moment…….. and all of this is generally true of Ukraine’s politicians too.

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Mr Gurvits, however, is genuinely popular in Odessa.  Having met him only a few times, I cannot say which categories, if any, he fits into of the above, however even if he does, he is still genuinely popular. 

It helps his cause, that he has not been a career politico and his history is in construction going back well into the days of the USSR……..quite hard to forget normal people if your legs carry concrete burns I suspect and gives you a daily reminder when having a shower of what hard physical work was like………not that I have seen his legs, so I would not know!

He is also born and bred in Odessa, as were his parents……..a fairly novel idea, having a local holding a powerful local office and not some “career politician” parachuted into a “safe seat” as in some other countries I could mention.

Mr Gurvits was also defrauded out of office in a rigged election, the result of which was overturned 2 years later by a Ukrainian court and therefore is identifiable by many locals……who have been bent over a barrel and thoroughly rogered from behind by the “administration” in Ukraine since the chaos of the USSR disintegrating.

All of these things when thrown into the mix, makes him a fairly popular figure here.

For any UK readers, the Mayors in Ukraine are powerful figures, unlike those we have at home who think that donning a pair of black tights, dressing up like an extra from Blackadder II and putting a huge gold chain around their necks in an attempt to out “bling” the most “in ya face” rap star, constitutes a job.

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Anyways, so far I as know, a fairly decent and popular guy and compared to other cities and his opposite numbers, we should be glad we have him here!

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Odessa In Spring

March 5, 2009

Odessa weather in Spring is like that favourite old aunt of yours……..you know the one, smelling slightly of stale urine and cabbage but these are easily forgotten when considering her  kind, very sociable nature after the “odd sherry”,  and genuinely interested in you……….when the alzheimers is not kicking in!

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The weather, like your alzheimer suffering old aunt, seems to forget what it had done the day before here during Spring.  It really is a very mixed bag and is definitely the wettest and most drab period with frequent bouts of cold and warmth on alternate days added into the mix……..so be prepared.

There is little to make Odessa distinct from any other european city during this period as it shakes off winter and prepares for the mass invasions of the tourists in the summer.  Although not to be specifically voided at this time of year, there is certainly no reason to direct your attentions to it either.  

Nuff said me thinks!!!!!

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