Archive for December 2nd, 2009


God Damned, Mother F*cking Internet!!!

December 2, 2009

Well dear readers, there is a problem living out in the “nice places”…….and that is that certain internet providers take their time reaching you. 

At the moment, there is only one internet provider which reaches the people out my way……..and today, like at least 1 day every 2 weeks……..the internet went off.

With it going off at 0930, it was a safe bet that the provider was doing something…… well……other reasons for an internet crash do not normally occur at exactly 0930!

A phone call follows asking when it will be back on, as I have documents which need to get opened from the USA and then forwarded to people in Kyiv and Moscow…….and these people are power people!

Of course, nobody has a damned clue when it will come back on……..not even an uneducated guess…….and they really don’t care that people, however powerful are waiting for these documents in Kyiv and Moscow.

5 hours later……..and quite a few arsey phone calls from Kyiv and Moscow……..and numerous to the internet provider (who still don’t care) and the decision is made to go into the city to a cafe as these people are not ones which can be pissed off unneccessarily!

The internet providers last words being “We have 48 hours in the contract to sort out any problems!”……..My good lady’s last words being…….”And these people will take about 48 hours to remove your licence if they don’t get what they are waiting for!”

You can just imagine the idiot at the other end of the phone saying “Yeh right, f*ck you!!”…….as he put the phone down on the good woman.

Anyway…….into the city and eventually what needs sending to whom is done (with the delay blamed on the incompetent provider)………and return home.

As we walk up the driveway, 2 internet people are waiting and identify themselves.

The good woman starts to get into a rant and gets as far as “Important people from……..” and the men say “We know, we know……..we have had a phone call and have come to put it all right”

I am happy to place a small bet that next time the good woman calls this provider……..action will be taken!

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