Archive for October 13th, 2009

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Sh*t, Damn, B*ll*cks……and various other expletives!!!

October 13, 2009

Well dear readers, I was planning on doing an insightful and in depth post about something particular bizarre, useful, political……or something…….but I have now found out today is my brother-in-laws bloody birthday.

Now this is not so bad for you dear readers, you just get another half-arsed post instead of something worthy of reading……but for me, I was supposed to get a phone call tonight from a man called Haliburton……..yes THAT Haliburton about an opportunity here…….but I have emailed to delay the call by 24 hours due to the fact that speaking with a semi conscious English twat…….due to very liquid Ukrainian hospitality……..is probably not the impression which would be desired.

If this is not bad enough, tomorrow, I have a meeting with a steel mill owner from eastern Ukraine to discuss an $85.6 million deal and will no doubt not only look about as rough as a badgers arse…….but will have a head with a brass band playing inside it and a stomach doing more revolutions per minute than a brand new washing machine on 1000 revolutions per minute spin cycle.

Of course the easy answer is to fail to attend the brother-in-laws birthday…….but that would be equal to having a crap on the Pope’s desk and then asking for forgiveness at the next confession……..it just would not be forgiven regardless of the apparent forgiveness.

The other option is not to drink……or drink too much…….but as anyone knows who has spent time in Ukraine……a Ukrainian host has not been hospitable until you are unable to speak, have saliva hanging from your chin, have found your legs have lost contact with your brain and your unbelievably bad Russian is now not only fluent, but everyone around you also understands every bloody word of it you are saying……..as they too are taking it in turns to speak to God on the big white  porceline telephone whilst regurgitating those annoying entrees which got in the way of the tremendous vodka consumption you are expected to intake.

Oh God......I feel bad......why me?  Hello......God......are you there?

Oh God......I feel bad......why me? Hello......God......are you there?

Tomorrow will be a serious effort now to even remember my own name, let alone do any business………sh*t, damn, b*ll*cks!!!!!

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