Space……The Final Frontier…….

Ok- I’m old enough to remember the first ever generation of Star Trek on TV…..but although I am now knocking on a bit in years……I don’t remember the opening dialogue as…….

“Space……..The final frontier……..These are the proposed voyages of the Sovereign State of Ukraine……..It’s 3 year mission……To throw into orbit a few satellites, to seek out no new life and no new civilizations……To boldly go where every f*cking man and his dog have been already!!!!”

Well, what can I say.  I like the fact Ukraine as a nation is looking past the current financial crisis and spending $2,000,000,000 on their space programme between now and 2011……well, I would like it, if Ukraine was not borrowing $16.5,000,000,000 from the IMF a few extra $000,000,000′s from the World Bank, even more $000,000,000′s from the EU……or EBRD to be exact, have been given $50,000,000 by UEFA to help in readiness for the 2012 football tournament, $5,000,000,000 from Russia and a lot more $000,000,000′s from bilateral agreements with other nations as well.

What’s $2,000,000,000 out of all of this?………Well not much really…….until you consider that pensions have been frozen, wages have not been paid and “promissory notes” are being given to some staff who still have jobs, underpaid police, teachers, doctors, nurses dentists do nothing to combat corruption in order to make up enough money to have something that approaches a decent living standard etc etc.

That is not to mention that the combined amount of personal wealth stolen from Ukraine in dubious business deals, acquisitions and outright theft from the Sovereign State of Ukraine by the political elite and untouchable business leaders totals more than the IMF loan………but that’s another story!!!!

Anyways……buoyed by all this money being donated to keep Ukraine afloat, the decision has been made to pull back the elastic band at several Ukrainian space launch sites in 2009 and try and get enough tension and potential energy in them, that upon release, this energy will turn from potential energy into kinetic energy with sufficient force to “lob” two Ukrainian Sich 2 spacecraft into orbit before the end of 2009………although to what end……who knows…..maybe with the end of tax havens and transparent accounting on the horizon that’s where the oligarchy have decided to hide their illicit funds!!

More useful, is the planned launch of satellites in 2011……..by which time, hopefully Ukraine will not only being paying Russia it’s gas bill, like any other consumer, but they will also have started repaying some of the monumental international debts it is now racking up……as these satellites actually have a purpose which I can see some  rationale behind.

What?……..Common sense in Ukraine?……..F*ck me, they’ll be wanting to join the EU next!!!!

No, it’s true……..the intended purpose of the satellites is to monitor crops and agriculture, which is vital for Ukraine, and natural disasters….”amongst other things” according to the official press release.

Eh?……..The Russians won’t like it?……..Ah, don’t worry……this is being done in conjunction with the Russian Space Agency as also announced in the official press release.

So there you have it…….by the end of the year there will be 2 converted Lada’s orbiting the earth under the control of Ukraine…………Yes, you’re right, it is to be hoped the do “drive” the Sich 2′s better than they drive in Ukraine but to be fair……there is more debris in space than there is on the roads of Ukraine after more than 50 years of international space agencies “fly tipping” in the atmosphere.

You know it’s getting crowed up there when old Russian satellites are bumping into American spacecraft, both China and America are “blowing up” satellites in orbit and sending debris flying around at 17,000 miles an hour………all in the past 3 years. 

What are the chances of the $50 Million D&G handbag, containing sonic screwdriver, phaser set at stun and reserve pack of dilithium crystals, lost by some silly cow in space a few months ago, downing the Ukrainian Sich 2′s or satellites?

Anyway, Ukraine is to once again enter “Space”…………oh yes they have been there before when part of the USSR so at least the 2 orbiting Lada’s later this year will be without “L” plates!!!

“Sex Tourism” Protests

Well, where to start?

Undoubtedly, the ladies from “Femen”, a woman’s movement against sex-tourism in Ukraine, have a good and valid point to make regarding turning the opinion of many as to Ukraine being a Sex-Tourist destination.

In this they have my whole-hearted support……….after all my wife is Ukrainian…..I have Ukrainian nieces and sister-in-laws…….the last thing I want them subjected to is a men with the personalities of a plank of wood, the charisma of a hyena or the sexual deviance of Caligula………there are enough Slavic men with these traits, without importing more from failed lives and failed marriages in the USA and EU!!

Eh?……..Who is Caligula?………I’m sure you can download the film…..which actually is fairly good and shows just how mad and perverted this Emperor was…..yes the film is called “Caligula” and starred Peter O’Toole, Helen Mirren……just don’t watch it with the kids around as it is explicitly pornographic in places……..I have warned you!  It is, though, like I say, not a bad film at all.

What?…..How dare I tar you with the same brush as “all the others” coming here looking for a “wife” or a “good time”?

Look at it this way my friend.  You have come here to find your Ukrainian wife……..because you can’t find one at home.  All your friends and everything you read on the internet warns you of scamming marriage agencies or that the woman you meet will be a “gold-digger” after your money.

……..errrrm, Yes, it’s Anna Nicole Smith!

……Yes, of course you are different……and so is the 20 year younger, model looking woman which you have decided will be yours.

Well, it is you that wants this goddess of beauty to be your wife, despite the fact you could literally be old enough to be her father.  This drop-dead gorgeous creature has not fallen for your balding head…..with a desire to polish it for you in a few years time.  She has not fallen for the rolls of fat which hang over your belt to the point where you need a mirror to see your own dick.  She has not fallen for your charisma and personality which has prevented you from finding a wife which speaks your own language and shares your cultural background……..be honest, she hasn’t has she!!

You have not come here looking for a “spiritual connection” or “soul mate”……Ukraine is a long way to come to find that from where you live. 

Do not be so shallow or dishonest with yourself…….you have come looking for a woman who looks $1,000,000……which you have no chance of getting at home, but Ukraine has in abundance.

That being the case…….and now, for a fleeting second you recognise that what I am saying is right, you should also recognise that, with all the above considered, if you are not looking for reciprocated real love……then you will have to finance any substitute.

This is what the ladies from Femen are demonstrating against………this and the fact that the “marriage tours” are somewhat of a “meat market”…….fuelled by foreign men wanting to “test the wares” of as many women who they meet as possible before making a decision……..and a large number of women who are paid to meet the men, many of whom have no interest in getting married or are indeed married already!!

What, no, it’s not bollocks!!! – My wife, who speaks good English, was asked to attend such a “gathering” last week……because she can speak English and was offered 60 UAH to attend and pretend to be interested in looking for a foreign husband. 

When she told them she already had a “foreign husband”……..they said, “Well, it doesn’t matter, you don’t have to sleep with them or anything…….most of the women come for the 60 UAH and the free food and drink all night and have no intention of marrying anyone either”.

The women were also trying to raise awareness that Ukraine has the fastest AIDS/HIV and sexually transmitted disease rate in Europe……..so think on my friend before you go “dipping your wick” in anything with a pulse here…..

……What?……..Yes I know you are so desperate you’d f*ck a frog if it stopped hopping long enough……but at least allow the brain in your head to work along side the brain in your dick and not let the little brain rule the big one!!!

Eh?……..I started this post with, “Well, where to start?”……..which intimates I have a problem with Femen?

Well, like I have already said, I whole-heartedly support their stance……for the reasons I have given…….but you are right, for the protest I have to say that I have my doubts as to their “theme” when making the protest.

Why?……..Well I will only put up 1 pic from the protest, but this is Ukraine and no woman here, regardless of the protest, wants to look anything less than “sexy”…….even if they are protesting about sex tourism.

I also have a nagging doubt that the protest wasn’t taken too seriously not only because the ladies looked……errrrm…..sexy but the fact that because of the colour coordinated theme……..they all looked like extras from Legally Blonde……further removing more credibility for the protest.

What do I mean?………..Take a look for yourself………..

Yes, I have tried……..but I can’t see Reese Witherspoon either!!!!